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[16 Dec 2007|10:21pm] |
well its been well over a year since i posted so i figure, why the hell not? so here i am... posting. alot has changed since i last posted. i fell out of love. i hit my deepest bout of depression... and came out of it. i almost drank myself to death. i started smoking cigarettes... and quit. i quit my job... was jobless for about six months, then got another one on july 4th. im still there & absolutly loving it. its the best job ive had. its not the WORK that i love, obviously, but the people...and not the fucking customers, my co-workers. not only do i work with my best friend, but ive met some of the sweetest, down to earth people ive ever known.
im in school and hating it. this week is finals. i honestly dont even care about my grades anymore. i mean, im trying to do well, but, arent there more important things in life than getting good grades? i mean, yeah, graduating college is a goal of mine, but, so is being truly happy. im not there yet, but im trying. so, back to school, im not going back to schol after christmas break. im gunna work full time so i can finally move out. lindsay and i are talking about getting an apartment in the spring. who knows if it'll happen, but, if her and i want it badly enough, it WILL happen. in the fall of 2008, shannon and i are going to a school in portland. dental careers institute. every saturday, 8-4. 15 classes; 10 dental and 5 radiology. its obviously gunna be a fast pace thing, so im reallllly gunna have to buckle down on my work, so i can get my degree in dental assisting AND GET OUT OF MAINE. otherwise, itll just be a waste of $3000+ dollars...
well, there is a boy in my life, but it seems like every time i get SUPER excited about it, i get fucked. his name is kris. our relationship is extremely messed up and confusing. he recently told me something, though, that totally changes everything. so im trying to be patient with him and im trying to not get jealous, but...WHAT THE FUCK, hes allowed to get jealous, but im not... "thats...thats not really cool, man..." word. theres like 3 guys that he insists like me... and i KNOW they dont. why am i even talking about this? him and i are fine. we just need to talk. alot. and we've had a good start at that, so him and i have a huge relief... but for different reasons.
all in all... life is life. it has its ups and downs. i do my fair share of crying, but i smile and laugh alot more than i cry, so, i guess i should be happy. things could be worse. alot worse.
lindsay, darling, i love you.
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[01 Oct 2006|02:23pm] |
im listening to further seems forever.
its reminding me of sam.
i dont like it.
at all.
not one bit.
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[03 Sep 2006|02:56am] |
im in love.
jon=done. forever.
new boy.
not telling who
it is yet.
but we talked
and this is
why he said he
likes me:
1) you're beautiful
2) you have an amazing personality
3) you pretend to hate it, but I think you like it when you catch me looking at you
4) you play semi-hard to get, but let me have what i want in the end (laying on me)
5) you're chill, you'll just do whatever..
6) you're not one to make decisions, but if I push you hard enough you will eventually make a decision.
7)you're beautiful- yes i realize i said that twice
8)you know how to laugh every once in a while.. I like that..
9) I like that i can make you laugh, pretty much whenever I feel like it
10) I feel sooo comfortable around you..
11) I wanna hold you forever..
i love this boy.
for serious.
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[22 Aug 2006|08:14pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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sublime |
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its been forever, literally, since ive written in here. a lot has happened. all of it good. :) one thing i wont mention. all i have to say is THREE HOURS. other than that, jon and i have been hanging out alottt lately. woo. he told me he likes me. which is good cause i like him too. so we both like eachother, we go out [just the two of us] quite often, but we have no official title.... why doesnt he freaking ask me out? jeezum. so lindsay and i have pretty much been living with eachother. she leaves on saturday for school. im sad. =[ but she'll be back soon enough! and we're gunna get needled together. im not sure what im gunna have done, but shes getting her snake bites. i might get another ear piercing... or maybe another tattoo... i dunno yet. i had my third orientation yesterday. for school. im so excited to start. nervous? of course, but more excited. i found out that i WILL be going to school for four years, not three like i thought. the vet tech program is three years, but i have to take all my gen ed classes before i can get into my vet tech classes. so four years it is. which works out perfectly because lindsay and i will graduate the same year and we'll be able to move to portland as planned. woo! cant wait. i hope the years fly by. haha jon has called me three times today. woo. hes supposed to be calling me again soon. were supposed to go out tonight. nothing to do, but oh well. i REALLY want to go out with this kid already. i NEED someone. i know this sounds horrible and its not meant to at all, i just dont know of any other way to put it... i want to be going out with him before school starts, that way i already have someone. #1 i wont be tempted at school by any other guys. #2 ill have someone to hang out with since all of my friends are leaving me, pretty much, except for sheryl & chris. #3 i wont be depressed with him. =] im positive that that kid makes me sublimely happy. every single time im with him, i laugh and smile like the whole time. hes soooo easy to talk. he has opened up so much since him and i have "gotten to know eachother." even people at work are like "whoa, jon is more talkative... what did you do?" haha so. woo. im the woman. so school starts on the fifth. im probably gunna be so busy. i want to be busy, its good to be busy, but i want to have a life. lisa [my boss] knows that im gunna be busy with school and she knows my schedule, so i know that work wont be too stressful. its her and i in shoes now. meghan quit. lisa has had like three interviews, so hopefully she hires all of them... (*phones ringing...* its jon...we cant think of anything to do... awesome... anyways...) we're gunna need people to fill in for me when i cant work, plus, she wants to have like two people close during the winter, so i can go home early since i live so far from work. i love lisa. haha well im ending this. comment.
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[20 Jul 2006|05:44pm] |
so i havent written in my journal in a few days, so i figured i would. i have today and tomorrow off of work. lisa loves me. =] so my brother adam [from ohio] is coming to visit with his girlfriend, jessica. i hope shes cool. if shes with adam, she has to be cool. he would not date some dumb ditzy blonde with a credit card shoved up her ass along with her brains... so my parents went to portland to pick them up. they'll be home by midnight. im going to pick savage up at work tonight. then were gunna hang out. tomorrow, we're supposed to go to bar harbor for a whale watch [WOO!] but i doubt thats gunna happen.
random thoughts:
i really cannot wait to leave for florida.
i really want another tattoo.
i really cannot wait to leave for florida.
i really have to order my books for school.
i really cannot wait to leave for florida.
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[14 Jul 2006|04:17pm] |
so i got my tattoo yesterday. its cool.
it didnt hurt that much. it wasnt at
all what i was expecting it to be. it
was a super annoying and uncomfortable
feeling. def worth the agony. check it.
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[04 Jul 2006|10:38pm] |
so parents found out about everything.
all the parties.
the alcohol.
the stolen things from my house.
everythinggggggggg.
i told them.
i had to.
i bawled.
but im not grounded.
hey, i may not have any friends now,
but at least im not having a huge
burden on my chest.
ah. im done with everyone.
p.s. i got my rook pierced a few days ago.
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[01 Jul 2006|05:26pm] |
last night was the bomb diggity, son. soooooooo many kids were at my house. at one point there was like 20 or 25 kids ahhh shit son. so i puked twice today. THATS when you know ive been drankin'. probably shouldnt have smoked all that weed too... i got my rook pierced today. woo.
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[25 Jun 2006|02:00pm] |
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so my party was a drama fest. i knew it would be. not with girls though. its the boys this time... so, you didnt miss anything.
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[23 Jun 2006|02:55pm] |
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today is my birthday. woo. im eighteen. double woo. i got my cell phone today. triple woo. i have a new number. if you want it, let me know and ill give it to u. DONT TEXT OR CALL MY OTHER NUMBER. ITS MY MOMSSSSSSSSS
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[21 Jun 2006|08:10am] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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so friday is my birthday.
my parents are leaving
for ohio that morning.
party?
i think so...
deg, gretchen, lyndsey,
dave, matt, sheryl, chris,
dan and maybe john. so. that
should be fun. im getting
my cell phone on friday too.
i have orientation for
college at 915 this morning.
it will be supppppper boring.
i can already tell...
i work tomorrow from 11-730.
friday and saturday i have off.
my parents come back home on
the third.
ahhhhhh i cant wait for floridaaaaaa
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[15 Jun 2006|12:32pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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carrie underwood |
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:(
im falling for the boy of my dreams.
the boy i used to hate.
the boy i wished death on.
i spent the night at his house last
night. NO, WE DIDNT HAVE SEX!
we had a loooooooong talk though.
he admitted to liking me. so, he
does like me, so i shouldnt
feel like such a slut when im with
him, but.... i do. i told him
straight up that i am not into
playing games. i dont want to get
fucked over. i dont want things
to backfire. so, i pretty much have
to put all of my trust into him.
which, will be hard, but im
going to have to do it. he thinks
im beautiful too... =D *sigh*
i told him that it is hard for me to
trust people. not just guys, but
anyone...i dont even trust my fucking
parents! but he definetly likes me,
he said and he is interested... he
wants to hang out more with JUST ME...
we'll see how that turns up... it has
always lead to sex in the past, which,
hey, i love good sex just as much as
the next person, but im not into having
a relationship based on sex... so i told
him that he is going to have to prove me
wrong and make me fall for him... but
i also told him that if he made me fall
for him, i would be pissed. lol which
i will, but...eh. ahhh. C.O.N.F.U.S.E.D.
who is this boy?
comment me, youll find out.
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[11 Jun 2006|10:52am] |
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mood |
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so today is graduation.
im
sad.
scared.
nervous.
excited.
happy.
hung out with TK yesterday at gwetchys.
that was fun.
he is an amazing kid.
super cute.
super nice.
:-D
we followed eachother back home.
we kept passing eachother, then
he got on my ass and put his
high beams on. i was like oh,
awesome, so i rolled my window
down and flipped him off cuz
thats how i roll. =)
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[10 Jun 2006|09:31pm] |
hung over as FUCKKKKKKKKK.
g'night.
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[07 Jun 2006|09:48pm] |
so yesterday was the last day of school. woo. but then at 8am today we had marching practice. i left at 9. savage, deg, lyndsey and i went to dysarts. woo. were rebels without a cause... i just got home from work. im tired, but i dont have to wake up early tomorrow, so theres no point in going to bed now... tomorrow, casie is coming over. were gunna clean my car, go to get my hair cut, go to old navy (check on casies job app), go to walmart (return my hair straightener), go to sally beauty supply (get a new CHI hair straightener), then go to burlington (pick up my paycheck)...then the mall, i wanna get some car fresheners at yankee candle. ill stock up. haha. so sunday is graduation. im sad and im happy. mostly happy because HIGH SCHOOL IS OVERRRRRRRRR. but sad too cuz ill never see most of those kids again... chels and gretchy are moving to new york :( im gunna miss them sooooo much. blah. so i dont know what im doing friday or saturday....my plans were to go to OT, but we shall see about that...
work schedule:
monday: 1-9
wednesday: 9-530
friday: 11-730
saturday: 1-9
$6.50 x 32 hours = $208....minus taxes, so like $170
chyeah.
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[05 Jun 2006|07:08am] |
so here are my plans for the week if youre interested...which none of you are... =] today i have A1 & A2 tests...computer and sociology...nothing and nothing...then i work 4-9. tomorrow, i have latin and then i get to go home. then i have to work 4-9. tomorrow is the last day of school!!!!! then wednesday, i work 4-9. i have thursday, friday, saturday, sunday and monday off. WOOOO! i gunna have one helluva graduation night. haha thursday, casie and i are gunna get together. thats the day of rickeys photo exhibit, so we might go to that. then friday is, well friday, so im probably gunna go to OT and stay the night there. party it up, you know how i roll. then saturday is lindsay, cody and chelseas party. so im gunna go to those. i dunno how ill do it, but i will. an hour at each party. haha. then sunday is graduation. then that night, lyndsey, dave, me, amanda and brad are going out to dinner, well, we plan to. olive garden. then we'll go back to OT and PARTY IT UP again GRADUATION STYLEEEEE. im so fly. youre jealous. =) haha but those are my plans. i KNOW they wont go as planned, cuz they never do, but we'll see. sam and i are okay now. hes being nice to me. i talked to matty and then i talked to gretchy. they both said the same thing, "the only reason hes mean to you is because he obviously still likes you..." so. i dunno. whatever. we're not getting back together. i cheated on him for a reason... he was mean to me even WHEN we were going out. but, ill always have a place in my heart for him since hes the one that took my V. that sounds queer, but its true...
k bye
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[28 May 2006|08:52pm] |
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 chipper |
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music |
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RENT |
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i did as kyla requested and got "fucking crunk" on friday night. if you know me... you know what happened. =D
1 bottle of wine + 1 bottle of wine + 1 bottle of wine + 1 bottle of wine + 1 can of beer = all mineeeeeeeee.
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[22 May 2006|07:41pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
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music |
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fuck you-ludacris |
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i got an early graduation gift on friday. ipod. woo. 40 GB. sweet doooood. holds 10,000 songs. haha i only have like 800 on there, but, believe you me, i WILL fill it. haha :D today i bought a new purse ($4.98 woo!) & chocolate scented lotion. mmmmm. lyndsey put in an application to burlington. cross your fingers. she needs a job. more than i need one. lol and i HAVE one. that girl can spend money out the butt. so i introduced her to lisa, my manager and i told her that she needed a job and so lisa seemed pretty optimistic about hiring her. so. we shall see. i work tuesday and thursday this week. no friday or saturday. WOOOOOOOO. OT is callin for a PAR-TAY. fuckin right. havent drank, like REALLY drank (drunkkkk) since november. i need it. i get paid thursday. my check will only be like $20 though cuz i only worked one day last week cuz i was sick and had to call in twice. oh well. i got $150 in the mail for graduation. woohoo. love the money. and need it. for gas. alcohol. you know, the NEEDS. haha well this will be my entry for probably the week cuz ill be busy. so. bye.
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| i cant wait! |
[09 May 2006|01:18pm] |
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busy |
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woohoo!!! my summer is gunna be awesome! minus all the drama and alcohol of last summer! hurray! casie and i planned a trip to florida. we got free plane tickets woohoo. one of them is mine and the other one was my moms but she gave it to casie cuz she is just so darn cool like that. =) were gunna stay with aunt fran... we might stay with aunt laurie too since they live like 20 minutes away from eachother. ahhhh im so excitedddddd. ok so here is my schedule.
june 6- last day for seniors
june 10- lindsays graduation party
june 11- graduation/ project grad
june 23- my 18th birthday
june 28- leave for ohio
july 5- come home from ohio
july 25- leave for florida
july 31- come home from florida
august 1- leave for boston
august 2- WARPED IN BOSTON
august 3- come home from boston
september 5- school starts
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[04 May 2006|03:00pm] |
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mood |
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 hot |
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music |
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thursday |
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so as you can probably tell, ive been REALLY busy with work. i worked last night, 4-9 and today i work 4-9. i work saturday 1-9 (no prom for me) and sunday 11-6. awesomeeee. so tomorrow is a half day. eff that. im not going haha. lindsay and i are going to the mall to shop cuz we both get paid today. woohoo. yeah so lindsay and i skipped on tuesday, last period only and she got caught today and i didnt. i feel really bad though, i mean, i know i shouldnt want to serve a detention, but the only reason i didnt get caught was because ms romono is an IDIOT. she didnt mark me absent, she thought i was in class. so. whatever. i have to leave in a few minutes for work. so byeeeeeee.
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